Battery included....well maybe

Two weekends ago we decided to do some running around advancing behavior (shopping). I went out to start my car (2007 Ford Fusion) and was surprised when it would not start. All the dash lights came on, radio, Ipod, with no dimming when turning the key. The sad part was the complete lack of motor turning over. The only sound to be heard was a click, click, click, click sound from the starter. It had a really nice beat to it. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate it a 7 for rhythm, but you really couldn't dance to it.

I called the dealership since it was still under warranty and of course they wanted me to bring it in. I called my roadside assistance and had them come out to pick it up. The driver popped the hood and pointed out my problem right away. Yes, the manly man that I pretend to be didn't think to pop the hood before calling the dealership. If I had I too would have been greeted by the beautiful sight of a severely corroded battery terminal.

So, one trip to the auto parts store to return with 1 terminal cleaning brush, a can of anti-corrosive spray, and a loss of $26 I returned to fix my car. I popped the clamp off and started brushing. I am sure if you were an ant under my car looking up it would have appeared that you had just walked into a blizzard from the amount of crap coming of my battery. It took about 15 minutes of scrubbing, putting the clamp back on, trying to start the car, rinse and repeat until I was finally able to get the car going.

I called the dealership back and let them know I still wanted to bring it in to have them clean this mess up "professionally". Two days later my car was in the shop. When I dropped the car off I talked to the "service rep" and let him know my issues. I told him that I felt that the best thing to do would be to replace the clamp and possibly the battery since it was already corroded again after 2 days. He said they would look at it and get it taken care of.

I went back that night to pick my car up. I picked it up and made my way to the bank to deposit a check. After parking I decided to pop the hood and felt an overwhelming urge to just bang my head against it. I was expecting to see a nice shiny clean battery terminal and clamp. I was going to fix my hair in it's brilliant shine, and possibly see if I had any food in my teeth. Boy let me tell you I was sadly mistaken.

Picture this. I clean the battery and terminal myself so I know what it looked like when I took it in to them. What I saw before me had a very strange resemblance to my handy work. So much in fact that I suddenly realized that it was possible that they didn't actually do anything to it. Well okay they did do something. The did spray red anti corrosive spray all over the battery. Right over the battery terminal, the clamp, AND the mounds of corrosion already there. Yup, they didn't bother to clean any of it off. Just sprayed it as is and sent me on my way.

Back to the dealer I go where I get this song and dance about "corrosion of a battery is perfectly normal". Sure it is. It is right up there on the natural scale like "natural sugar substitutes" and my foot is supposed to be up your ass. I have never owned a vehicle that had a battery with corrosion like this. My last car was a 1990 Honda Prelude which I purchased new in 1990. I sold said Honda the same week I purchased this new car. Doing the math here that would make that car what???? 17 years old. In 17 years I replaced the battery once and never had a corrosion problem. Not once. yet corrosion is "natural for all batteries?" I think not.

So we reschedule to have me bring it back in on the following Tuesday. Tuesday comes and the car has been running fine. My wife leaves for work and I decided to just hang at home with my son. Later that day I am getting ready for my hockey game and go out to pull my car out to let it warm up. Guess what happens? Yup, car wont start due to the "natural" corrosion I discover when I pop the hood.

I call the dealership the next morning since they were closed at this point. The soonest they can "fit me in" is Friday morning. So I am set to take my car in tomorrow morning and have them do some "professional" work to it. I think when I drop it off I am going to attach a copy of my good friend Webster's page with the definition of "professional" highlighted to my steering wheel. Just in case there might be a chance they could miss it if I put it under the hood on the battery.

Oh yeah, I did tell the "service rep" that this time they WERE going to replace the battery and the terminal due to the fact that they didn't do SHIT last time.

I think I know how that is going to work out.